@RealDMK: Anytime I cannot find my kids I just go to the bathroom and wait for them to barge in
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bobvulfov: APPLE GENIUS: how did u get so much water on the laptop [flashback to me taking my laptop into the shower so i could tweet] ME: hurricane
@TheReal_AndyMac: The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer per year. That's 41 miles per gallon...which is not bad.
@AnitaHelmet: Sure, 50% of marriages end in divorce and yeah, that's sad. But 100% of married people will die, and isn't that a greater tragedy?