@WheelTod: Anytime I go to the doctors I feel so ripped off. Whatever my complaint is, it's always the same damn advice: "Lay off the methamphetamine."
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@fubwat: "Can I have a pound of onions please." "Sorry sir, it's kilos these days." "oh, ok, can I have a pound of kilos please."
@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
@Petote: BF went to text me "almost there" It came out "almost dead" So hungover, I wrote back "thank god" And now he arrived and things are awkward