@MUMSIEesq: Anytime I pass an unlocked minivan I throw a few of my kids' most annoying toys in the trunk.
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@thejamietighe: *turns off life support* *waits* *turns it back on* Me: How's she now? Him: Are you sure you're a doctor? Me: Doct... No, I'm from IT.
@Mr_Kapowski: Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes Do I never pick up phone calls on it? Also yes, because as an American, I let freedom ring
@iwearaonesie: friend: Try this me[takes drink] It's wine friend: Did you detect a hint of anything? me:Alcohol friend: But what did it taste like? me:Wine
@kcmoore51: 16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone. Me: Should we leave a key? 16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again.