@DaHess1: Anytime I see a happy white couple in their 30's sitting in front of a laptop, I just assume they are filming a credit score commercial.
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@BillDixonish: If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.
@RealSugarFree: So far at work I've straightened a paper clip then tried bending it back to its original shape. Employee of the month right here.
@FrenulumBreve: *Britney Spears releases a new fragrance* *the other dinner guests look embarrassed and pretend not to notice.*
@NotthatAdamWest: Finding Nemo 2? I swear, if that kid gets lost again Finding Nemo 3 better be where child services locks the dad up for extreme negligence.