@dshack8: Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them.
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@AngelaEhh: Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll? Bartender: Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me? Bartender: Me: Beer.
@The_Grant_Boldt: "Mom can you pick me up a new comforter at the store?" "Okay" *Mom returns with Morgan Freeman* "I love you mom"
@Sarcasticsapien: Maybe if we start the 'Read a Book Challenge' we can raise awareness for stupidity.
@SteussieErica: FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there.