@dshack8: Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them.
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@cray_at_home_ma: I tucked my kids in last night and said, "See you in the morning!" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise.
@LeonEarlgrey: If I am farther than you in candy crush I will automatically think im smarter than you.
@Jamie1947: A video montage of all the times my foot, still wet from the shower, has clung to my underwear as I pull them on, and I've lost my balance.