@SoVeryBritish: "Anyway it was lovely to meet you!" - Translation: Off you go!
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@chuuew: 911: What's you're emergency? ME: You mean "your"? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone's murdering me 911: You mean "murdered" ME:.. 911: [dial tone]
@tastefactory: Mr. Webb, what is the greatest threat to national security? "The dinosaurs in Jurassic World, they always seem to get out"
@dumbbeezie: If there was a game show where people have to find a phone charger before their phone dies I would win the million dollars
@dumbbeezie: Naked and Afraid but it's just you in someone else's bathroom with a toilet that won't flush