@SCBamaMan: AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
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@CherBear162: "Remember Robert from work?" Yeah..he was a douche. "He died." WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!
@beefman138: *Wife busts me installing locks on man-cave door* Wife : Great idea! That will keep the kids out! Me : Uh... yeah. The kids.
@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.
@tatsabrat: My creepy neighbour asked me if I think he's creepy. The fact that he asked through my bathroom window after my shower just made it awkward