@RobinMcCauley: AOL was hacked yesterday so watch out for spam email that looks like it came from 1995.
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@Kyle_Lippert: A young Bruce Wayne falls into a cave full of pugs. He later becomes Pugman and keeps the streets of Gotham clean and downright adorable.
@Awesome_Todd: Never run with scissors. Unless... • You stole them • You're running a 400 meter scissor relay • You're being chased by giant paper dolls
@YesImMatt: A woman could tweet "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I'm not dead ;)"
@WheelTod: Me: How old is your daughter? Her: She'll be 4 next week. Me: *audible sigh (Slowly, emphatically): OK. But I asked how old is she... NOW.