@Piecezilla: Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised.
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@UncleDuke1969: Psychiatrist: "Tell me about your kids." Me: "Total disappointments." Psychiatrist: "I still think this is a conflict of interest, Dad."
@Birdhumms: You want to make them feel welcome but not so much that they'd want to come back any time too soon. Socialising is hard.