@FlyoverJoel: Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@slimmy_shady: Almost arrived at work when my kid asked "Where're we going?" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!
@Book_Krazy: Just because your kid says, "You're my hero" does not mean you can pick them up at school wearing a cape, apparently
@dafloydsta: [on Dating Game] HER: Contestant 1, what are you wearing? [I glance at the stains on my shirt] ME: *lips on mic* Looks like gravy, Diane.