@JoshDenny: Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
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@JaneBadall: Babe, does this mole look suspicious to you? *Points at mole wearing sunglasses and a raincoat*
@dafloydsta: [on a date] *wonders if she'll steal my fries while I use the restroom* *shakes Magic 8 ball* "YES" *takes plate of fries with me*
@SharkJelly: [At Adele Concert] Adele: Hello from the other siiiiiide Me (shouting): Tell us your surname
@CornOnTheGoblin: [starts to leave the theater when the title appears on-screen] date: no, Get Out is the name of the movie