@JoshDenny: Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Alex_LaVallee: Cop: license and registration please. Me: (gives cop both) Cop: you drinking tonight? Me: no. Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans.
@respected_loner: whats that detective, the serial killer is in the mall? i'll hack into their security cameras real fast [types "job openings" into google]
@MartaEffing: Me: They were gone. All of them. Just gone. I've never felt so alone. Therapist: So, after the donuts were gone, then what did you do?