@JoshDenny: Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
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@rainbowrowell: These protests are PLANNED. These opposition groups are ORGANIZED. My enemies are USING CALENDARS. Someone signed up to BRING DOUGHNUTS.
@VictorscarletJ: I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?
@2tickytacky: Lemon is supposedly a good diuretic. I ate a quart of lemon pudding and nothing is happening.
@justabloodygame: *appears in puff of smoke at a public pool* "Warning, what you're about to see may shock you!" Hey! What are y- *touches live wire to water*