@CanadianCyn: Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder.

@gavinspeiller: What if Canada is just like 100 dudes faking a country like that scene in Home Alone where Kevin fakes the party?

@WilliamAder: My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it.

@EndhooS: [Meeting friends baby] Me: [bouncing him on my knee] he's a big boy isn't he Friend: yeah he was 11 pounds Me: wow that's cheap

@lovemydogduck: If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee