@EricaTheThor: Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
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@gavinspeiller: What if Canada is just like 100 dudes faking a country like that scene in Home Alone where Kevin fakes the party?
@WilliamAder: My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it.
@EndhooS: [Meeting friends baby] Me: [bouncing him on my knee] he's a big boy isn't he Friend: yeah he was 11 pounds Me: wow that's cheap