@CharismaFueled: Apparently, changing your profile to "Flirty, dirty and a little squirty" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle.
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@emmatheist: [Google search history] Moles How to kill moles How to make homemade bombs Rescue moles from cave-in Dealing with regret Mole stew
@ibid78: [my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that
@JohnLyonTweets: *walks into alma mater carrying English degree* I'd like a refund, please. This did not work as promised.