@CharismaFueled: Apparently, changing your profile to "Flirty, dirty and a little squirty" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle.
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@TheCiscoKidder: My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry.
@daemonic3: [waving hands and chasing down ice cream truck] Hey! "What'll it be?" [out of breath] Nothing. Just wanted to tell you I'm vegan
@bridger_w: When arguing, I let the other person speak first, then help them see my point by starting with, "Now, what I'm about to say is correct"