@CharismaFueled: Apparently, changing your profile to "Flirty, dirty and a little squirty" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle.
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@NicestHippo: [girlfriend yelling] You have an unhealthy attachment to your pets with weird names! [she knocks over my dead hamster's shrine] GILGAMESH!
@EliTerry: "Our relationship is nice because we can sit silently and still have fun." - cool thing to say to the person in bathroom stall next to you.
@WonderMonkey78: Atheists don't believe in God or the "i before e except after c" rule of spelling.