@MeganBaca1: Apparently "cheesecake & tacos" wasn't the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
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@jackmackenroth: If I had kids I would name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete so when they misbehaved I would just hit them all at once.
@ericacanrant: If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a "anything for 5 dollars" ad on Craigslist with your name and number.
@HelmdawgE: Relationship status: Putting aloe on the wall and rubbing against it to apply in places that I can't reach.