@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently "cool story, bro" is not an acceptable substitute for "congratulations" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant.
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@Be___Dope: :office birthday party: CW: Would you like to sign the card? Me: Nah, just here for the cake. Karen will understand. CW: His name is Joe.
@HatfieldAnne: You see a Honda, a Toyota, a Chevy, and another Honda. I see four people who aren't getting that parking space. Hang on.
@PJTLynch: Annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there's always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time