@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently "cool story, bro" is not an acceptable substitute for "congratulations" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant.
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@adamisacson: Canadians would be chagrined to know how many Americans think a "Vancouver" is a big tarp for your VW microbus.
@jonnysun: wat abot when ther was only 1 set of footprints "thats when i carried u" wat abot when the fotprints went in the ocean "i tried to drown u"
@KyleMcDowell86: *puts stethoscope up to chest* Dr: I dont hear..U don't have a heart Karen "Did my ex Kyle put u up to this?" *Im in the bushes giggling*