@PhoenixRises69: Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :(
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@BetteMidler: Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn’t even strong enough to push a child out of my way.
@rolldiggity: 1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, "It has to look like an accident." 4. Walk away.
@hippieswordfish: *bank* 'miss, it says here that your debt is outstanding' *twirls hair* oh yeah? well i think your debt is pretty cool too