@B1gBrainsMcGee: Apparently everyone was too high in the 70's when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
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@SouthernStylin1: 14 sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas" so I'm wearing hers because good moms listen
@dafloydsta: [at Starbucks] ME: One large starbuck please. BARISTA: Sir, that's not even a- ME: Sorry, one venti starbuck please.
@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? "after the knife went in"
@TheThomason: Kid, if you don't know whether your Batman costume is pre or post reboot continuity, you don't deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn't cry.