@B1gBrainsMcGee: Apparently everyone was too high in the 70's when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
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@anylaurie16: Chelsea Clinton charges $65,000 for a 10 minute speech. How many times has her husband said, "Honey, I can’t afford to hear about your day.”
@Donna_McCoy: If you add enough jalapeños no one will ever know you're a bad cook.
@conanobrienswyf: How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murder for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.
@AndyAsAdjective: "I think I'm falling for you." -replacement skydivers
@KentWGraham: I wish No More Tangles shampoo would work on Christmas lights.
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