@704919828: Apparently googling "how to get suspended with pay" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer.
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@heatherlou_: I was looking at my phone and tripped over the dog and we're both laying in the floor looking at my phone.
@OverlandParker: Every time I hear someone say "The Lord works in mysterious ways," I picture him performing miracles while doing the robot.
@Reverend_Scott: And on the 8th day, God created atheists and said, "Oh man, you're not gonna believe this."
@crunchenhancer: She's got a great personality! It's the other 6 personalities that I'm worried about....