@Roohani19: Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".
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@GrrrRach: I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? SUPER DANCE OFF?? Cop: OH YEAH OH YEAH? Cop: No, not really. There's a warrant for your arrest. oh no
@VaguelyFunnyDan: The gal in front of me on this flight didn't enjoy me stroking her forehead after she reclined into my lap. Thought we were having a moment.