@Roohani19: Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".
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@poizngrl: If you are looking for a bad girl, I have been known to shop at the art supply store on days they aren't having a sale...
@IrishVin: Me: Can I buy that chandelier? Store guy: Of course. Are you putting it up yourself? Me: No, I'm hanging it from the ceiling.
@HiddleDeeDee: 6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap. It's a joy raising an 80 year old man.