@mrjohntofu: Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
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@TheTweetOfGod: I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses.
@isaaaa: Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. "Like" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order.
@Kneevyl: If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now.
@Douchekevin: Wife said she was 'retaining water' and I said I'd wondered who drained the swimming pool. Been 4 days and I'm still hiding in the attic