@Brianhopecomedy: Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old's lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
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@MaraWritesStuff: Twilight is the literary World War I: you thought this was as bad as it could get, but then WWII/Fifty Shades happened.
@Brianhopecomedy: You're probably wondering how I tweet so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
@tarashoe: when i'm stressed i close my eyes and imagine i'm on a beach, neurotically pacing back & forth within a very small section of that beach
@WhatevaConc: If you're wearing sunglasses & it's not at all sunny out, you can't get offended when I grab your arm to guide you safely across the street.