@Ghetto_Trophy: When I'm feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don't seem so bad.
@teen_news69: LIBERAL PARENTS REFUSE TO GIVE NAUGHTY TEEN COAL:
"fossils fuels cause global warming"
"billy woke up to solar panels in his stocking"
@jergarl: I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Do you consider yourself a punctual person?"
Me: "I was born three months premature."
@XplodingUnicorn: Random woman in the store: What's in your mom's tummy?
5-year-old: A baby.
Woman: What kind of baby?
5-year-old: A human one.
Nailed it.
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