@kellysdf: Apparently, if you Google "boss" and "chloroform" from your work computer, it sets off an alarm somewhere.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Beerhaze: She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last month she gave birth to her ninth baby. Thanks for saving my life, Depeche Mode!
@jenyb4: Um, hi. How much is the rent for this amazing apartment? Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.
@rockymomax: [At bar] BARTENDER: I dont think she wants to talk man ME: [dabbing on pickle juice as cologne] I think I know what the ladies want pal