@kellysdf: Apparently, if you Google "boss" and "chloroform" from your work computer, it sets off an alarm somewhere.
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@SatansTongue: *Filling out application* Sex: "no thanks" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex.
@Bearslietoo: A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card.
@roxaroodw: Apparently it's inappropriate to ask where her shoes are from when you're in the next stall.