@inmybox07: Apparently I'm a bad mother for having a lip piercing. Actually sir, that is a zit. Thank you for pointing it out.
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@Lord_Voldemort7: Who names hurricanes? Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy?
@DothTheDoth: I know Taco Bell doesn't have "I hate myself" sauce yet. But they should. They should.
@WheelTod: *Calling from the bakery Me: "Honey, can I get you something: a muffin, eclair, a cupcake?" Her: "Surprise me!" Me: "I think I'm gay"