@inmybox07: Apparently I'm a bad mother for having a lip piercing. Actually sir, that is a zit. Thank you for pointing it out.
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@onion_an: Interviewer: Have you worked in a fertility clinic before? Me: No [nervous because it's my 1st interview] Me: But I used to be an embryo
@causticbob: "Wanna hear a joke?" "Alright then." "What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?" "I don't know," "You're disgusting."
@halloweenbears: it really hurt my feelings when you called me a stalker to your friend when you guys thought you were alone in the locker room
@Quartzjixler: Oppenheimer at the A-Bomb test saying "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" only me exiting the bathroom after eating Taco Bell.