@inmybox07: Apparently I'm a bad mother for having a lip piercing. Actually sir, that is a zit. Thank you for pointing it out.
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@timdonakowski: Someone needs to break it to my cat that she is not a security guard and my bathroom is not a VIP section.
@ValeeGrrl: I take it personally when the UPS guy drops off a package for my neighbors but doesn't bring me one.
@Moldy_Jellybean: My signature move is getting drunk before anyone can ask me to be the designated driver.