@simoncholland: Apparently it is "against church policy" to drop your kids off in the nursery and then go to brunch.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@longwall26: Next time a job interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years, say "Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?" then just sit there for 5 years.
@GrowlyGrego: "Bear with me for a minute." - Russian guy providing an airtight alibi for his criminal bear friend.
@PinkCamoTO: I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.