@DirtyySouthMess: Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well.
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@MatCro: "Pete's coming for dinner tonight." "Pete from work or Pete who thinks he can walk through doors?" [Massive thud] "I'll just check."
@librarianfonz: There are gravy trains and boats. I wonder what gravy did to get on a no-fly list.
@mlevchin: Front page of cnn.com features "Cats that look like Hitler". Just not enough other important stuff happening in the world, I guess.
@brennadine: "How hard up for cash do you have to be to wear a chicken suit & wave at cars," I think, adjusting the beak protruding from my forehead