@Cherbearxo: Apparently it's okay for the office to have "casual Friday's," but "nudist Tuesday's" are frowned upon. How embarrassing for me.
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@fro_vo: *burger king manager pulls me aside on my first day working there* when they say hold the pickle you don’t have to physically hold it
@CroweJam: I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
@215potter: If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.