@runawaycupcake: Apparently just sitting here on my new lawn furniture drinking my Vodka & minding my business is disturbing to other Target guests.
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@Marlebean: Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Truth or dare I: M: I:.. Dare M: I dare you to give me this job I:(under breath) Damn she's good
@illuminatedwndr: hey people that post selfies on Instagram and caption it 'No Filter', go with a filter next time. serious
@SethMacFarlane: Hey online media: "Comfortability" isn't a word. The noun you're looking for is "comfort." And it doesn't need you to give it a fancy hat.