@runawaycupcake: Apparently just sitting here on my new lawn furniture drinking my Vodka & minding my business is disturbing to other Target guests.
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@livingnBoston: I remember a time when I was much younger and had an infinite supply of drugs and booze. Then some c**ksucker cut the umbilical cord.
@ch000ch: would love to see a prequel to Titanic where we see Jack completely unable to climb onto a floating pool toy and we all go "ahh makes sense"
@That_Damn_Duck: At McDonalds Cashier: You total is to tell your kids that you love them Me: Look lady if I loved them I wouldn’t be feeding them this crap
@BlindVigil: Here's my ONLY problem with Evolution: When the chocolate chip evolved, how did the raisin not go extinct?