@houffy: Apparently Mr. Neeson's "particular set of skills" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: I never would've guessed you're in your 30's. You look so young. Me: I'm old at heart.
@SirEviscerate: Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I got mad at a rock today. I chopped it in half with my lightsaber. Now there are two rocks. Send help. Now.
@imteddybless: haha how about we make a pact if we're both single in 6 seconds we get married?? haha look how nervous u are. times runnin out tho