@StrawburyDelite: Apparently, my office doesn't think the women's restroom needs a tampon disposal, so wrapped it up and put it in their suggestion box.
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@WhatevaConc: Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown.
@AskAuntieEm1: I can't seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don't need their assistance in the bathroom.
@panmidwest: DATE: …your profile said you were a bodybuilder? ME [assembles crash test dummies for a living]: that's right