@StrawburyDelite: Apparently, my office doesn't think the women's restroom needs a tampon disposal, so wrapped it up and put it in their suggestion box.
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@KeetPotato: [uses my last wish to be reincarnated as a bird] me: [as my dad vomits directly in my mouth] "i did not think this through"
@envydatropic: I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me
@ScubavelliDeux: *whispers seductively in your ear* "...look at that last slice of pizza and you're dead to me..."