@Tmoney68: Apparently, my superpower is being invisible to bartenders.
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@joeljeffrey: When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread.
@BromanConsul: if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named "Maude" or "Agatha" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine
@lwhit_the_boss: If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us
@MableGertrude: Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch.