@Donna_McCoy: Apparently, "No kidding!" isn't a good response when your boss says he's confused.
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" ME: *sweating profusely* Yeah why, do any ghosts work here?
@Home_Halfway: [Starbucks meeting] ME: Sorry I'm "latte" haha BOSS: Aren't you the guy we fired for biting a customer
@curlycomedy: The Katy Perry song that goes, "You're hot and you're cold," was actually about a microwaveable burrito.
@J_Illunninati: The guy who made my sandwiches told me Have Fun as he handed them to me. Not sure what he thinks I was gonna do wit them