@Donna_McCoy: Apparently, "No kidding!" isn't a good response when your boss says he's confused.
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@Stabby_smurf: If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony.
@wendyraepearce: I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He's going to pay for that later.
@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(
@MrEmilyHeller: Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.