@Donna_McCoy: Apparently, "No kidding!" isn't a good response when your boss says he's confused.
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@Stellacopter: One time my husband asked me to dance for him and I performed the entire Lion King musical to the best of my ability.
@bigmacher: As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK.
@dadjokehansolo: Ben: I'm trying to read, you're in my light Me: Because I am a Solo eclipse! Ben: Dad I swear to- Me: I am blocking the light of the son!
@MartaEffing: [breakup talk] H: Gimme one last chance! M: How can I trust you again? H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!