@Mr_Kapowski: Apparently, occupants aren't 8 legged pants for octopi
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@juliussharpe: Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you.
@GreenishDuck: Next time you're having a bad day just remember that alligators spend their whole lives looking like they're trying to do a push-up.
@Ristolable: [First day of prison] "Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?" Sure, I'll call you. Just give me your cell number *gets stabbed*