@WilliamAder: Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
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@DearAnyone: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.
@LurkAtHomeMom: If my 6 year old tells me someone was "mean to him" I never know if they stole his bike or tried to cook him a healthy meal.
@InternetHippo: Store Clerk: Happy holidays Me (angrily): Merry…CHRISTMAS Clerk (even angrier): SEASON’S GREETINGS [we just start choking each other]