@Sassafrantz: Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
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@WilliamAder: Me: Sweetie, I think these wireless headphones you got me are defective. Wife: Those are earmuffs.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: What did I ask you to do? Me: Love you forever? W: M: Kill a man to defend you honor? W: EMPTY THE DISHWASER I was getting there.
@joefrog1: If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.