@Sassafrantz: Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 7-year-old asked for her first alarm clock for Christmas. We just got it set up. I've never seen someone so happy about having their life ruined forever.
@WilliamAder: I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...