@_LittleMsBossy_: Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings.
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@OneFunnyMummy: The toughest test in a marriage is interpreting the statement, "Don't get me anything for Christmas."
@BigBagOfScum: All my Facebook friends are starting to have kids. Better deactivate my acct. before they try to guilt me into liking pics of their aliens.
@squirrel74wkgn: My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked.