@Token_Geezer: Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
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@ceejoyner: OFFICER DOWN I REPEAT WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN. I'm fine just down for whatever. Dancing or something fun.
@bobvulfov: me: ah finally a night when i can go to sleep early and rest up my upstairs neighbor: it is time to learn how to play the upright bass
@minnie_in_pink7: My best friend's marriage is such an inspiration. As a reminder that there are worse things than dying alone.
@UncleDuke1969: My wife went to dinner with her cousin, and is supposed to bring me home some dessert. She should have been home an hour ago, and I’m getting a little worried about my cake.