@hipchkk: Apparently, some parents are not appreciative of a sweet super supportive air horn during a children's piano recital.
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@thatsuperdad: Stranger: Sir your fly is down... Me: Oh geez! Thanks. *Bends down and picks up fly* Me: He's had some wing issues lately
@sixthformpoet: It’s so awkward when a bird arrives back at its nest and the worms in its mouth realise that wasn’t just a free aerial tour of the city.
@Rollmaninoz: *First day as a spy* Boss: Did you bug the Russian Embassy? *flashback to me ringing the doorbell and running away over & over* Me: Ohhh yeh