@mrjohntofu: Apparently telling someone you'll catch their next wedding is unacceptable, whatevers.
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@dafloydsta: I'm commonly known to my friends as "that nutty guy" Haha, just kidding. Squirrels can't talk.
@SaraThomas84: It's all fun and games until you're sitting in the Planned Parenthood waiting room doing your Algebra homework
@GrabTheWEness: I was really into the idea of Salsa dancing, until I learned there are no chips. Or salsa.
@Brianhopecomedy: I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area.