@CollegeHumor: Apparently the Burger King account is suspended while they think of a stronger password than "horsemeat".
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@Douchekevin: Bad is accidently sending your buddy a dirty sext intended for your girlfriend. Worse is getting 'lemme think about it' for a reply.
@PhoenixRises69: Kate on Facebook can't believe the ordacity of some people. I can't believe the audacity of people who use big words that they can't spell.
@Jen_says_nah: *puts message in a bottle *stares longingly out at sea and throws it in *gets tazed and arrested for littering
@annaetuck: Congratulations, everyone who saw me and my kids at the mall today. That's the cheapest birth control you will ever have.