@CollegeHumor: Apparently the Burger King account is suspended while they think of a stronger password than "horsemeat".
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@daemonic3: To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again.
@joerogan: This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.
@XplodingUnicorn: Friend: Would you ever get a tattoo? Me: Never Him: You're afraid to make a permanent mistake. Me: *looks at my 4 kids* Way ahead of you.