@iwearaonesie: Apparently the first thing you should say after you back over your wife's foot is "I'm sorry" not "I guess that means no sex tonight"
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@MartinPilgrim1: 1.Not leaving my room 2.Not leaving the house 3.Missing someone's birthday party My childhood punishments have become my adult hobbies.
@AndrewNadeau0: PRIEST: 1st the groom’s vows. ME: *Unfolds notes* I’m only doing this for the cake. PRIEST: That’s not really- HER: That’s what I wrote too.