@realHamOnWry: Apparently, the latest gadget used by suicide bombers around the world is a vest completely made of Galaxy Note 7s.
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@daemonic3: "Hi, how much for a slice of pizza?" A slice is $2.50, and second slice only $1. "I'd like 3 second slices please"
@Steelers1972: The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini.
@lloydrang: People who say they are "comfortable in their own skin," scare me because I wonder how they know what it's like to wear someone else's skin