@realHamOnWry: Apparently, the latest gadget used by suicide bombers around the world is a vest completely made of Galaxy Note 7s.
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@chopper4jk: I hope when I get old, my motorized wheelchair is fast enough the catch the ice cream truck.
@WheelTod: [First Date] Me: "I'm sorry. It's just that I've been burned before." *Stuffs handful of fries through visor in hazmat suit *Closes visor
@Book_Krazy: Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one