@UnFitz: Apparently the main job qualification for being a pirate was that you had to be named after a beard.
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@CheapPontoon: My niece is pregnant and the fetus already has business cards as a freelance media consultant.
@FreckleMcPickle: Been married so long it's almost like a first date. Husband is always wondering if he's even gonna make it to 1st base.
@Tinkerbell_: If simply wrinkling my nose at your smell is politer than spraying you head to foot with Febreze then so be it. Not happy but so be it.