@Hobo_Splendido: Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
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@Discourt: As an adult, I'm most afraid when my children's toys randomly make noise and nobody is in their rooms....
@MondayPajamas: My new phone has fingerprint recognition security technology and now I can't open my phone unless I'm eating fried chicken
@ArfMeasures: ME: The kids have ruined their shoes WIFE: Again? [sighs] Just throw them out [Later] ME: Stop crying kids, your mum says you have to leave