@Mmelulu: Apparently the owners of Aldi and Lidl were really brothers. Presumably Aldi was the alder one and Lidl the Lidl one.
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@panmidwest: [BAR] Me: What do you recommend? Barkeep: Moscow Mule, Mojito, Old Fashi- M: [Puts finger to his lips] which tastes the most like Capri-sun?
@Fickle_Filly: People who use the phrase "Correct me if I'm wrong..." clearly don't know me very well.
@SteveKoehler22: IKEA furniture will now snap together will no tools or hardware. The company boasts that it will save thousands of h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ marriages
@mustachewine: I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached.