@ericONEderful: Apparently this isn't a nude beach. This isn't a beach at all. I'm at Target. Don't do drugs kids.
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@BeingDBEAST: The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil...
@yungsweater: Can I get an amen? AMEN! Can I get a b-men? BMEN! Can I get a c-men? CME--*the whole church laughs*
@ConanOBrien: I’m trying to convince my Seattle in-laws the new travel ban means we can’t visit them this summer.
@daemonic3: "I'm a skeleton!" *kisses and hugs you* Stop that! *kisses and hugs you again* What kind of skeleton are you?!? "An XO skeleton"