@Tbone7219: Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
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@jamieramone: It's the point of the night where I either keep my drunk friend from making an ass of herself or just tape it for youtube.
@BuckyIsotope: My rap name is Weapons of Mass Destruction because you go in thinking I'm going to destroy you but it turns out I've got absolutely nothing.
@HiddleDeeDee: 6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap. It's a joy raising an 80 year old man.
@iAmDelFreaky: ~ At a bar last night ~ Her: I don't want to be alone tonight Me: Well, I can take care of that *takes her home* Me: Pick any cat you want