@AthenaMystique: Apparently UFC is not Ultimate Fried Chicken and now I'm even hungrier watching huge greased up men touch each other inappropriately.
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@badbanana: When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
@longwall26: A werewolf is chasing you and you are going to die but he's wearing TOMS and you can't stop laughing.
@donni: Surprise parties are great. Depress your friend by pretending to forget their birthday, then terrify them briefly
@Burger_Time_: Theres plenty of fish in the sea. Theres loads of trash at the dump. Theres tons of bones in a skeleton. Bugs are everywhere.