@drinksmcgee: Apparently, using a french fry and an onion ring to simulate how I wanted the rest of the evening to go wasn't the most romantic move ever.
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@SaltyCorpse: Do you ever go back and read your old tweets and wonder, "My God... What was I on and do I have any left?"?
@perfect_boxx: I was asked to name my top 10 most favorite books. I don't have 10 so I just started naming insects.
@tucker_doherty: Daylight Saving Time switches on November 6. That's right, this presidential campaign is an hour longer than you thought.