@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to stay in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
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@TCsSideBitch: *standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead
@psybermonkey: When my Uncle died the obituary said that he 'passed away in the warmth of his own home.' It was a house fire.
@SarahMJade: When people ask me for directions Im just going to do a really slow sarcastic Macarena .
@KyleMcDowell86: [old couple feeding ducks in the park] "Nothing could ruin this Edna" *I scare all the ducks away, punch the old man and steal their bread