@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to stay in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
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@FeelingMervis: Find someone who can make you happy, like a doctor or pharmacist....basically anyone who has access to mood-enhancing drugs.
@tweetingdouche: Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts.
@KeetPotato: [undoes GFs bra first time] "wow have you been practicing?" don't be ridiculous [me and dog exchange glances]